Jack Kornfield appears – all serene smiles and good humored – and asks me, “Hasn’t it been an awfully long time since you’ve had a girl-friend? I say, “Is it that obvious that I’m a bit dry?” He says it is, and asks, “Didn’t you use to get a lot of inspiration from the bodies of young women?” I say an unenthusiastic yes, feeling that that path led to suffering and disaster. I ask, “Do you want a Life Drawing class at Spirit Rock?” He says, “Oh no, no, things are already far too complicated there.” I suddenly see he means I need to do this for myself – that there may be a productive return to the old wellspring, without disaster this time.
Monthly Archive for December, 2005
On top of a tall wooden dresser, I find a thick book of collage/paintings. It feels like a rich rediscovery. It is my work from the past. I show it to somebody, turning a few pages to show the sumptuous variety and rich evocative quality of the pieces, saying, “This is my work.” As soon as I say this, I correct myself, saying, “This is what I could have done, every day.” I say this because I see these are exploratory notes and sketches, not finished presentations. The revelation is that inspiration comes from playing with the materials, not from waiting for an idea.