I am wandering in a public area, like a mall, where a big open studio event is going on. It is evening, and my loneliness has reached unbearable levels. I am looking for a connection with the nurturing feminine. I am wandering up and down this strip of studios on a couple of levels, seeing only scenes I don’t feel a part of, and people who have nothing to offer me, and I am not interested in their clever, hollow pretensions or in the party atmosphere. I am looking for truth and healing, but more by a process of elimination; not this, no, not that, etc. I don’t see any studio I feel like entering.
Finally, I see a place that appeals to me. Stairs ascend to an upper level, where the entire environment is sculptural. Dimly lit, it is composed of masses of white marble-looking forms that are not featured in isolated blocks, but rather flow together to form the walls and ceiling of a lofty, mysterious cavern. The place has the vibration of a sacred temple. The sculptural forms are simple yet profuse and speak abstractly of woman and nature. I pause at the entrance, wondering if it is really OK to go in. The door is open, after all, and it is open studio night, but the atmosphere seems so intimate and secluded, so warm and tender. The air is warm and moist, like a bath-house, and I can see a hot tub a little further in on the left, and hear a murmur of quiet voices. I suddenly feel a little voyeuristic, and hesitate on the threshold, not wanting to intrude. As I am wondering what to do next, a calm and stately group of women dressed like greek goddesses approaches me, led by a stunningly beautiful black woman. They stop near me, and she steps forward, gives me a warm welcoming embrace, and invites me to come in and join them. She says maybe I can find a woman in here. I say I sure hope so, and that I have been unlucky for a terribly long time. I notice as I say this that, even though true, I don’t feel right saying it in here, as the dusky priestess takes my hand and leads me into the inner sanctum of the feminine spirit. I sense that here, among women of wisdom and accomplishment, my personal worth is visible, I am valued and appreciated, and won’t need to sell myself, or apologize for my past.